Bonfires

To build the fire, you begin with the newspaper. Crumple it into balls a little bigger than your fist and make a small pile. Then you add the kindling, maybe some cardboard, like pizza boxes. When it gets going then you add the logs to keep it going. This is the fire starter to our night. Occasionally, we will cook some hotdogs or s’mores but we always have marshmallows. The only way to have a marshmallow is golden brown and crisp. You have to hold it close to the blue flame but not so close that it catches on fire and gets burnt. If you make it just right, that wonderful clump of sugar is a nice reward for practically burning your face trying to get close to the fire.
How can I feel so safe sitting by the fire? Fires provide a sense of comfort to people that seems inexplicable. Sitting there, just gazing at the flames, as if they are alive. The sky is dark with the stars shining bright enough to count them all. I always find myself zoning out, looking at that one blue flame that I know is the hottest part in the pit. I’ll catch myself thinking about different things like school, relationships, and sports. There is clarity and certainty in a fire. There is time to stop and think. Is it really that bad? Is it worth my time? Sitting by a fire is a way to think about the problems that you are facing, or the worries in life you have. But the problems don’t need to go away like the wood burning, or maybe they do.
When you’re sitting there, that comfort you feel is like no other. You feel the heat of the fire on your face and if you move away you get so cold that you have to move closer. By the end of the night, you are nowhere near where you started. You’ve moved closer to the people next to you, and closer to the fire. It’s ironic to think that a fire is something that I should not feel safe or comfortable being near but when I'm sitting there gradually pulling myself toward the fire, I do feel safe and I have a sense of comfort that not a lot of things give me.